You Know I'm No Good
by Harihaat.Laeno
Summary: Leah ran away from LaPush three years ago...Without ever contacting anyone after leaving...What happens when an unexpected event brings her back home?  Will she stay or will her past ruin her future?
1. Chapter 1

You Know I'm No Good

Chapter 1

Leah's POV

"Oh...ohh..oh god...yeah, right there! Mmmm...so good. Fuck me right there...oh. Right there in my tight little pussy...mmm." I moaned out as I was pounded into from behind. I was face down, ass up as some random black guy fucked me. Both his hands were on my hips pulling me towards him roughly. I clawed the white sheets underneath me, moaning.

"Alright now Jason I want you to grab her by the hair and pull her up to your chest." The director called out. Jason grabbed a hand full of my long black hair, pulling me up to his chest. In this new position I wrapped one of my arms around his neck.

"Alright start playing with her tits...oh yeah thats so fucking hot." Clive, the director said again.

He cupped my breast, playing with my sensitive buds. I bit my lip and moaned as he led his hand down my stomach to my clit. He strated rubbing me in intense circles while he pounded into me.

I could feel my walls start to squeeze and tighten againt his shaft, signaling the beginning of my release. I moaned as Jason pounded harder. I could tell he was close by the closer my the uneven force of his thrust.

He pushed me back down onto my elbows and started thrusting wildly into me. I quickly released, screaming out and thrashing around. Jason pulled out and jacked off, coming on top of my back.

"Shit..." He said, pumping his shaft until he finished spilling his hot seed over my back. He leaned down over me placed a heated kiss on my lips,rolling me over so we could be chest to chest.

The camera man slowly walked over, zooming in on our faces.

"Alright cut. We're good for tonight..Great job you two..." Clive said walking over to the bed in the middle of the studio. Jason got off of me to go over to the cameramen to check his stills.

I just laid on the bed covering by boobs and crossing my legs for privacy. I always get like this afterwards, even though I've been in this business for almost two years now and I just...I don't know. This isn't something I thought I'd be doing now.

"Hey babe...you doing anything later?" Clive asked suggestively, handing me my red silk robe. For some reason he always wants to have sex with me after the shoots. It's like it turns him on or something. Me on the otherhand...I hate it. I feel filthy and disgusting afterwards...I just want a shower. But I have to keep telling myself the reason I do this. For my family. So I can make a better living for my son.

"Yeah actually...I'm have to pick up Jaden from the nannies house. Tomorrow I'm going to take him to disney world as a surprise...It's his third birthday." I said smiling, thinking about my son Jaden, he was so beautiful. He was a perfect mixture of me and his father. He has brunette hair with my wide eyes and full pink lips while he has his fathers aqua blue eyes.

Jaden was born from an affair that I had with a married politician, Riley Biers. It was when I had first moved to San Fernando Valley as a stripper, maybe a year after I ran away from LaPush.

No one has heard from since. Not one person. Not my mom, my dad or Seth. I just left.

They don't even know about Jaden.

"Well that's too bad we could've had some fun." He said tracing my collarbone with his finger, I cringed.

"I'm sure...but I have to go...Sorry." I said walking over to my dressing room. I needed to shower.

When I got inside, I walked over to my mirror and looked at myself.

_Dirty...Nasty...Filthy...Ugly...Slutty...Whore..._

All these words kept filling my mind until I just looked away, sighing. Whe I looked back up I reached for the hem of my wig and released my hair from th confined net.

Running my hands through my hair, I smiled. I tried to seperate my work life from my normal one as best as I could, but if me Leah Clearwater and her, Eva Angelina, look exactly the same then were the same people. So I wear a black wig when I'm Eva, the porn star and I let my natural brunette hair cascade down my back when I'm me. Leah Clearwater.

After taking about an hour long shower, I put on my boyfriend jeans with my white v-neck and grabbed my purse and check before leaving to pick up Jaden.

"Fuck..." I muttered underneath my breath. I knew Lauren, the nanny would gice me all types of shit about how she'd call protective services and what-notbut I'll make it.

When I walked outside, I was escorted out by one of the security guards until he hailed me a cab. When i got in, I told the man where to take me.

After about ten minutes, I hopped out and quickly ran up the stairs of Lauren's apartment complex. When I reached her door, I could see the light peeking from the shades. Oh thank god.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I could hear the shuffling of papers and the loud footsteps, I prepared myself for the mental scolding I was about to recieve. The door opened.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry..The shoot took a little longer than I thought."

"Yeah..yeah...whateva..where's my money?" she asked. I roled my eyes and reached into my pocket, pulling out $100 and handing it to her. she stunk into her bra strap.

"Alright hold on." She said going back into the haouse. Seconds later, she came back out with a sleeping Jaden in her arms. I smiled and grabbed him. He immediatley wrapped his arms around my neck, snuggling into my neck.

"Mommy.." He murmured sleepily. I rubbed his back soothingly.

"Go back to sleep baby.." I said, kissing his cheek. When I looked back up at Lauren she handed me his backpack and I said goobye before running back down the stairs to get to the cab.

"West Toluca Lake please.." I told the driver, leaning back into my seat, letting out a deep breath.

I was about to fall asleep when my phone started buzzing. I took it out of my pocket and saw that I had 7 missed texts from an unknown number.

I opened the last text sent and my heart stopped.

Leah you need to come home now. Dad died.

_-Seth_

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><p>AN: Tell me what you think? I was listening to You Know I'm No Good by Amy Winehouse and BAM! Story idea...anyway REVIEW!

P.S. If you couldn't already tell Leah is a porn star.


	2. Chapter 2

You Know I'm No Good

Chapter 2

Leah's POV

Flashback: 10 Years Ago

_"Daddy please don't let go..." I said panicking as he slowly began to push the back of my bicycle to help me move forward. It was Christmas morning and my parents had gotten me a bike without training wheels. As soon as I saw it I wanted to try. Dad took me outside in the cold driveway while Mom and Seth watched from inside._

_I was so afraid of him letting go of me, letting me fall._

_"Sweetheart...I'll never let you go." He said with pure assurance in his voice. I immediately calmed down and looked behind me to see if he was still standing there behind me. He was._

_I was terrified, but knowing he would always be behind me t push me forward made me fearless. _

_"Look Leah...you're doing it!" He yelled, happily. When I looked down at my feet to see all the rushing pavement moving past, I turned around smiling, looking back at my dad who was a few steps behind me._

_It was in that exact moment where things started getting out of control and I started to lose control of my bike. You see, In this story life is sort of like the bike. _

_To keep your balance you have to keep on moving. If you stop...you fall. And I've fallen. I've fallen a few times actually._

_I've never gotten back up. Metaphorically or Realistically._

Present Time:

A Week Later

"Mommy where we going?" Jaden asked curiously, looking outside the window. We had just gotten off the plane and were heading over to the house now. I wanted to skip the church part for Jaden's sake. He's not like most little boys. He's sensitive, scared and insecure. He'd cry through the whole service after seeing Dad's body. I figured I'd go to the funeral home and say goodbye by myself.

He'd been all types of questions ever since we left the house back in L.A. I wanted to answer them trust, I do, but what do I say.

'Oh we're just going to see a bunch of random people who haven't seen me in four years and have never even known about your existence. Oh and by the way your grandpa died.' That seems kid of harsh don't you think?

"Mommy?" He asked, looking at me suspiciously. "What's wong?" I pulled over from the highway to the curb and turned off the car, turning down the radio.

"Jaden, we're going to a funeral." I said turning. I could already feel the tears well up in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away, before he noticed. He gave me a confused look.

"What's that?"

"It's when a lot of people say goodbye to someone they love."

"Why?"

"Because that person is gone to be with God...up in heaven."

"So they went to sleep in the sky?" He asked, with some expression of understanding on his little features.

"Yeah." I said, smiling sadly down at him.

"Who went to heaven, Mommy?" He asked so innocently, with his big blue eyes pouring into my soul. A tear fell from my eye.

"My daddy." I said, breaking down. During the past week I hadn't really mourned much. I just...felt nothing until now. I was wiping my face when I heard the seat belt un-click. When I turned to the side, Jaden climbed over to me and hugged me, petting my hair, putting his cheek against my wet one.

"It's ok mommy…No cry." He said sweetly. I hugged him tighter to me before kissing his lips and sitting him back in his seat.

"Thank you Jaden...I love you so much."

I ran my hands over his crisp black suit and kissed his cheek, before putting his seat belt back on him.

"I love you more Momma." He said making me smile. If it wasn't for him I'd still be on the ground.

I pulled out and got back on he road. We were only a few minutes away, thank god. I still needed to get my shit together. I needed to figure how I was going to handle everything. I mean I was going to introduce Jaden to everyone. Were they going to accept him?

After about an hour more of strenuous driving we arrived. There were about twenty different cars lined up outside, and that made me fucking nervous. All these people.

"Is this your house Mommy?" Jaden asked.

"It was when I was little…"

"Like me?" He asked.

"Yeah…like you. You ready?" I asked un-buckling my seat belt, then his after he nodded. I got out and grabbed my black trench coat. I was wearing a simple black sheath dress with black heels and the pearl earrings my mom gave me when I was fifteen. My hair was up high off my shoulders in a neat up-do.

"Yeah."

"Alright…here goes nothing." I said grabbing his hand and leading him to the door. When we got to white oak door I remember so well, I took a deep breath and knocked.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

My heart raced as I heard the footsteps coming towards the door. I was so fucking nervous. I picked up Jaden and put him on my hip. When I heard the knob turn my heart skipped a beat.

The door opened.

"Mom."

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><p>REVIEW PLEASE! TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL? AND WHAT YOU WANT NEXT? BECAUSE HONESTLY...I DON'T KNOW!<p>

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	3. Chapter 3

You Know I'm No Good

Chapter 3

Leah's POV

_"It's so loud Inside my head_

_With words that I should have said!_

_As I drown in my regrets_

_I can't take back the words I never said."_

"Mom." I managed to gasp out, choking up on my words. My throat felt tight like something was constricting it from the inside.

She just stood there and stared at me as if she didn't recognize me. It was eating me alive. I knew that I had been gone for years but any mother should recognize there own child.

In the moments she stared I took the time to examine her. She looked so much different. She had aged. Her once long black hair was now stained with strands of grey and her features were different. I mean they were the same but just...aged I guess. No matter what she was just as beautiful as before.

"Leah...sweetheart is that you?" She asked, finally saying something. She had one hand covering her mouth, while the other reached up to touch my cheek. I smiled slightly, with a tear rolling down the same cheek.

"Hey mom." I said turning to kiss the inside of her palm. She slowly took her palm and placed it back to her heart.

"Oh my, you're beautiful." She said, reaching up again to put a loose strand of hair behind my ear. She had bags under her hazel eyes. You could tell that she had been crying- and fuck me being wasn't helping.

Before I could say anything, mom bent down to about my knees level and smiled down at Jaden, who was clutching to my legs.

"And who is this handsome young man?" She asked, looking up at me questioningly. I smiled lightly and touched the top of Jaden's head.

"Mom this is my son, Jaden. Jaden this is Grandma Sue, my mommy." I said looking down at his curious blue eyes. We had discussed meeting mom and Seth on the plane.

"Hi Grandma Sue." He said quickly and shyly. You could barely hear him due to the fact that his face was buried in the fabric of my dress.

"Oh I see we have a shy one here, just like his mother." She said trying to cover up her shock with a smile. She sniffled, wiping her wet cheeks and stood up to her full height.

"Leah, why don't you come in and visit with everyone. I know they'll all be...shocked to see you again." She said smoothing the wrinkles from her black dress, before turning around and walking inside.

Before walking in, I wiped away my tears and picked up Jaden to place him on my hip. He had his head on my chest while he played with my hair a little. I smiled.

"I love you." I whispered, kissing his forehead.

"Lub you." He said back, making my heart flutter. He was my reason for living. I took a deep breath before entering my old house.

Everything seemed to be exactly the same, except a part of it felt empty. I walked over to the coat rack and put my trench and Jaden's jacket on one of the hooks. I could feel my stomach twist as I heard talking coming from the living room.

When I finished, I slowly walked into the living room only to be immersed into total and complete silence.

Everyone was looking at me. I felt so self conscious all of a sudden.

"Leah?" I heard a familiar voice call out. I tried hard but I just couldn't put a name or face to the voice. Well until she stepped out the crowd.

"Leah? Oh my god! It's been so long? How have you been? Where have you been?" Emily, my cousin asked running towards me full speed. She looked exactly the same except fuller in the face and boobs.

I let out a quiet 'oof' as her body collided with mine in a tight embrace. I quickly pulled away, smiling slightly.

"Hey Emily." I said awkwardly, looking around for someone to help me.

Emily must've that since it had been a few years, I'd forget what she did to me last time I was here. Emily stole the love of my life, Sam Uley me the day after I gave him my virginity. Her and Sam had been secretly 'meeting' up for two months. I had been severely depressed for some months after and the fact that she could just 'unknowingly' flaunt her happiness in my face did not help.

The fact that she could just stand right here in front of me and act as nothing had ever happened just pissed me off to no end.

"Emily sweetie, come help me in the kitchen." I heard my mom call out from the kitchen. I turned around too see my mom giving me a knowing look.

I mentally thanked her before, hurriedly walking through some people to get to the staircase. I walked up carefully , before reaching my room.

When I opened the door, I gasped. Everything was the same way I left so long ago. My bed was made neatly, the same purple comforter and pillows. I smiled too myself as I remembered every happy moment of my life that had happened here.

I slowly walked over to my old bed and sat down, remembering the feel of the soft mattress.

Hearing the soft snore of my baby, I had almost forgotten he was in my arms. I slowly lowered him to lay on the bed.

Once I put him down, I got up and walked into my bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I could remember a 16 year old me with braces, hating the sight of herself, wishing she'd never existed, wishing she could just die.

I sighed, sometimes I still feel that same.

Closing my eyes, I was completely startled when I heard a knock on the door.

"Lee-Lee? Can I come in?" I heard a very unfamiliar deep voice call out from behind the three inch thick wood. I sighed and opened the door, revealing a very muscular...man.

"Seth?" I asked quite unsure. He had changed so much from the scrawny little teenager I had left back home.

"Hey Lee-Lee." He said wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my forehead. When he pulled away he smiled down at me, before remembering something.

"Oh yeah. Um...the lawyer is about to show us dad's will. He wants me you and mom there so yeah...We'll be in the dining room." He said quickly before, rushing back down the stairs.

I bit my lip in frustration. I had forgotten that I had to repair some of the broken relationships with people and not just act like nothing had ever happened.

I was about to walk out of the room when I heard my phone vibrate on top of the end table. I quickly walked over to table and grabbed the phone.

Looking at the ID, I sighed tiredly. It was Riley.

"Hello?" I said, rather irritated. Riley hasn't called in a over nine months to check up Jaden.

"Where the fuck are you?" He said, voice booming through the phone. I winced a bit at his tone.

"I'm visiting with family right now, I took Jaden with me."

"Did I say you could take my son anywhere?" He asked in a dangerous tone.

"No. But I didn't feel the need to ask for your permission seeing as you aren't there for him."

"You better watch your damn mouth, Leah."

"Really? Or what?"

"I'll close it for you, that's what." He said before hanging up. I looked down at Jaden and wondered how such a beautiful thing could come from something so evil.

After straightening my self back out, I walked back down the stairs, through the living room full of people to the dining room where Seth, Mom and the lawyer sat.

"Ah Leah, good too se you could join us, please take a seat so we could get started." He said, looking up from under his thick glasses.

I followed his instructions and took a seat across from mom and next to Seth.

The lawyer opened his laptop that was on the table, to display a black screen. "You all ready?" He asked. My mother nodded, covering her mouth with one hand, I placed one of hands on top of hers that was on the table.

After a few seconds, the lawyer, pressed play and the once dark screen showed a clear picture of my father.

"Hey everyone. Sue, Seth and Leah, if you're there." He said smiling and chuckling a bit. I couldn't help but smile. He sighed. "I know if you're watching this video, I didn't make it. I know I said I could beat a lot of things but Pancreatic Cancer is one of the things I can't."

"Alright so lets get this thing going." He said pulling out his glasses and placing them on his nose and pulling a piece of paper from his shirt pocket.

"Ahem. Sorry I'm not prepared." He said, unfolding the paper in his hands. "Alright, to my beautiful wife, Sue. I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and I will always be in your heart just as much as you are in mine." He said, smiling. I looked over at mom who was smiling, with tears rolling down her cheeks.\

"Sue I want you to go to the bank and place the house under your name, along with anything else under my name. Whats mine is now yours. I love you." He flipped the page of his paper.

"To my son, Seth. Hang in there, son. You need to be strong for your mother. It's going to be a tough time for you all but it's your turn to be the rock." He said sternly, looking at the camera lens. So it was as he was looking directly into your eyes. Seth just sat there, no certain emotion on his face

" So Seth, I leave you me and Billy's old garage over down by third beach. I understand you and Jacob have been looking for a place to rent. Well here's a place you own as men. I love you Seth, you're a man now and you sure have made me so proud."

The tape went blank for a few seconds, making me think it was over but before I could say anything it came back on. It looked as if he was in my room, sitting on my bed. I could tell he had recorded it a few week after he did the others.

Seeing as his once full form was now sickly and unhealthy looking.

"My sweet,sweet Leah. If you're there I want you to know how much I love you. You are my baby girl and always will be. I've been spending days now trying to figure out what to say to you.

So here it is. Leah I love you. You may not think so but I do. You will always be my little girl. And no matter how far you go, I'll never let you go Peanut." He said sweetly, bringing more tears to my eyes. Mom squeezed my hand gently as Seth soothingly, rubbed up and down my back.

"Leah, for the past few years now I've been telling you're mother that me and Charlie have been fishing but we haven't." He said, somewhat laughing. I heard my mother mutter an 'I knew it.'

"I think she knew though." He said chuckling. "Anyway, All those nights I spent 'fishing' I actually was building this." He said pulling out a picture of a small house. I gasped. It was my dream house. It was an abandoned house, that just sat perfectly on first beach. "I bought it and remodeled for you. It's in that clearing right off the shore of first beach. I remember how you used to talk about loving it so much. I was going to give it to you as a 18th birthday present but I never got the chance." He said tearing up a bit." I felt terrible.

"So basically here it is, as my last wish I want you to move back to LaPush and be here with you're family. You've been away too long and they need you now. So yeah, I'm pretty much finished. I love you all."

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><p>What? REVIEW PLEASE! TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL? AND WHAT YOU WANT NEXT? BECAUSE HONESTLY...I DON'T KNOW!<p>

P.S. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING ME WHAT PORN STAR I IMAGINED LEAH AS AND NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. BUT AFTER WATCHING SOME ENTOURAGE I DECIDED SAHSA GREY. THE ONLY PORN STAR I ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT.

BTW, CHECK OUT MY POLYVORE!

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	4. Chapter 4

You Know I'm No Good

Chapter 4

Leah's POV

My head was spinning. I-I didn't know what to do. What to say. Everyone was staring at me. Looking at me with there waiting and expecting eyes. I wanted to say something, but what? I had no idea. I mean I can't just move back and then live like a big happy family. I have a life now in California, a job and a son. None of those things belong here.

My rapid thoughts were interrupted when the lawyer, cleared his throat. Everyone's pained gaze left me and turned to him thankfully. I sighed in nervous relief.

"Now Leah, you really should consider what's been said. You're father always wanted you to be here with your family after he passed on." He said, staring me deeply in the eyes. I could hardly stand it.

"And I understand that you have started a family of your own." He said knowingly. I nodded, bringing the back of my hand up to my eye to wipe an incoming tear. "Don't you want your son to know his family, Leah?" He said looking at me as if waiting to answer. My throat was closed and my mouth was dry as tears fell from my cheeks.

"I-" As soon as I opened my mouth to say something, I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my dress. I pulled it out to look at the caller ID. It was Clive. I got up out of my chair, and looked to all the pleading eyes at the table.

"Um...I have to take this." I said before, walking out of the dining room, through the kitchen and out the sliding door to reach the porch. I sat down on the white wooden steps that my dad painted himself. I gently ran my trembling fingers against the chipping paint. I jumped when my phone began to vibrate again. I hadn't even noticed it stopped ringing.

I quickly answered and placed the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey. I have good news." Clive said and I could just picture that creepy smile on his face as he sat in his office.

"What is it?" I sighed out, looking at the tire swing I remember my dad putting up for Seth on his sixth birthday. Oh this day was going to be terrible

"Hey come on...why so pissy?" He asked irritably.

"My dad died. I'm at his funeral. I told you that last night after we closed set. Don't play dumb with me Clive." I said, wiping a tear from my cheek and wiping it on my dress.

"Oh you'll get over it. I see it as giving a little to get a little."

"Right." I said sniffling. He didn't understand."Um, wh-"

"I mean you got something from it, right? Like the will?" He asked, getting intrigued. I sighed, kicking off my leather 5 inch heels. Mens invention to make a girl easier to catch. Bastards. Oh shit the question.

"Um, he built me a house. And left me some money but...I don't know. Forget it so what'd you call me for?"

"Oh, right we got a call from one of your many admirers from New York City. Baseball player.. He wants to pay $75,000 for your virginity."

"What?" I asked shocked at the price. I had always gotten "requests" from admirers, but the price was never high enough for whatever they wanted me to do and this guy wanted my virginity. Wait?

"Clive you know I'm not a vi-" I looked around to see if there was anyone around. There wasn't but I still stood up and walked a little further into the backyard, into my mother's garden.

"You know I'm not a virgin. In anyway." I said, roaming around her koi pond.

"He doesn't want to fuck you in that tight little cunt of yours. He wants that fat ass."

I was immediately revolted. In the porn industry every porn star has a claim to fame, something there known for, something they enjoy doing. I do vaginal and oral but I'm famous for my dirty mouth, moans and ass. Apparently the god of measurements blessed me with the orgasmic measurements of 36-22-43. Clive's words not mine.

"No. You know I don't do that! That's just disgusting." I said, grossed out.

"Leah you're a porn star. You suck cock, eat pussy, get eaten out. It's your job to be disgusting. Come on, just go out to dinner, get drunk and let him defile your ass a bit."

"I-I don't know. I mean 75,000 dollars is alot of money. Money I could use for Jaden and I don't know me for once." I said starting to think about it. I mean I need that money and if all I have to do is let him fuck in the ass, then I'll do it.

"Fine. I'll do it." I said without a doubt. I was sure. Oh great, she's out.

"Eva baby! There you are. I'll let his manager know you agreed and we'll get everything set up."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye babe. I'll call you later." And with that I clicked my phone shut, sticking it back into my bra strap, where no one could see. I grabbed my stilettos and put them back on.

I walked out of the picketed garden, then back over to the stairs. As I walked through the door, down the hall and into the living room. I was met with all the same stares as before.

"Um, do any of you know where my brother is?" I asked looking around, not seeing him. I needed to talk to him about well...a lot.

"Um...he's downstairs in the basement." One of the elders of the tribe spoke up to say. I smiled ant mouthed 'thank you' before heading downstairs.

I had to carefully walk down the stairs of the basement, so I didn't fall and make a hell of an entrance. I was thankful when I reached the ground as skillfully as I did.

I was immediately immersed into some type of bar slash sports lounge area. With polished oak tables and flat screen TV's. I was shocked because last time I was here, it was just like a storage area with one couch and a couple of lamps. In fact, I remember Sam taking my virginity down here on the old couch that used to be where the bar was. Oh god. It was so awkward and weird. Sam was quick and clumsy and I just wasn't ready at all. It was just pai- Right, I'm looking for Seth.

"Seth? You back here?" I called out, not quite sure where I was going . There are like eight doorways.

"Yeah...um, the door on the left. Come on, I got people I want you to meet." I heard him call out just as loud. I looked to my left to see a door that was barely cracked open. I walked over and opened the door to find a room filled with men. They were all sitting at a round table, drinking beer and playing cards.

"Um, hey I'm Leah. Seth's sister." I said giving a curt wave and shy smile. I don't do well with people I don't know.

"Is she fucking kidding me?" One of the men asked Seth, looking at him as if I was some type of dumb ass. Seth took a sip of his beer to hide his laughter even though I could see his shoulders shaking in amusement.

"What?" I asked, looking at everyone. Most of them were chuckling.

"Leah it's Paul." He said, trying to let it sink in my head. I gasped. Paul? Holy fuck.

"Paul Meraz?" I asked, starting to remember. Paul was Sam's best friend from high school. As I looked around the table, I realized everyone at the table. We were all childhood friends. "Holy shit. Embry? Quil? Jared? Holy f- Wow." I said, shocked. They looked so much different. They looked like...men. Attractive men.

"Leah shut the fuck up and give me a hug? Where the hell have you been, crazy girl?" Paul asked, jumping out of his seat to give me a hug.

"Oh Paul...way...too tight...Need air.." I choked out. He finally pulled away then looked me up and down. He shook his head. I eyed him suspiciously. As a kid he always had some slick shit to say.

"Guys what ever happened to the flat chested, brace-faced, hormonal teenage girl we knew so well?" He asked, turning me towards the guys. Embry and Quil shrugged, while Jared smiled.

"Plastic surgery." He muttered underneath his breath, looking up at me as if he knew .

"Still a bastard, I see. I am all natural, okay?" I said doing a nice little turn for everyone. "Boobs are mine. Ass is mine."

"I might need proof one day." He said flirtatiously, winking playfully. I rolled my eyes and pushed at his shoulder.

"Anytime." I said, smiling back just as flirtatiously.

Wow, I must be in a good mood. Because, I'm in an awfully playful mood.

"Alright, cut that shit out. I'm a little fucking grossed out. Damn." Seth said, with the most repulsed look on his face.

Paul sat back down, pulling me to sit in the seat between him and Seth.

Looking around the table I noticed everyone was bigger than me. "What the fuck happened while I was gone?" I asked, making everyone laugh.

"A lot a shit that's we'll discuss later, Ms. Leah. But what I wanna know is how's everything with you been?" Quil asked. I smiled.

"Nothing much, really, just um, stuff. I've been living in California with my son, Jaden."

"Son?" Embry asked. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. He's three. He's the love of my life." I said pulling out my phone and showing them a picture of hin at Disneyland with Mickey and Minny. He was so happy that day.

"He's going to be a lady killer one of these days, like his Uncle ...His dad here?" Paul asked curiously. I shook my head no.

"No, we...uh broke up a couple months before Jaden was born."

"Was he a white guy?" Quil asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Figured. A guy on the rez would've never left someone as beautiful as you." Quil said, blushing. He was always so bashful. I loved it.

"Thank you, but I seem to be attracted to assholes for some reason. Example number one is standing right above our heads." I said, taking a swig of Seth's beer. He rolled his eyes and got himself another.

"You went to visit dad yet?" Seth asked. I shook my head, no.

"No, not yet. I might go tomorrow after I get some rest and I get Jaden situated. He doesn't do well with new surroundings."

"Oh. How long you two staying?"

"Uh...a couple of days. We're leaving on Thursday."

"Great, we'll have plenty of time to...uh catch up and what not."

"Yeah." I said agreeing with him. We both needed time to figure out shit and understand some things.

It was cool as we sat down i the basement and casually talked about everyone's lives since I had left. It turns out, I missed a lot.

Such as, Mom and Dad separated three years ago. Paul and Jared were married to two women named Rachel and Kim. Sam and Emily were married shortly after I left and she is currently pregnant with there first child.

And what shocked me the most is that there was a new chief, Jacob Black. He wasn't really the social type according to Seth, but after his dad died he took over.

I had only seen him once or twice around the rez as a kid. He was a scrawny little toothpick with long raven colored hair down his back. We hung with different crowds seeing as he went to Forks High and I went to the school on the rez.

"And if you think I'm big that motherfucker is HUGE!" Seth said, making me laugh. He had never cursed as a teen, so to say I was shocked was an under-fucking-statement.

"What? How tall is he? You guys have to be about, what? 6'5, 6'4?"

"Yeah but that fucker is 6'8. No shit, he's tall as hell! Ripped as fuck too. I'd hate the bastard if I wasn't sleeping with his sister." Paul said, sitting back. Wow. Five hours in and I feel like I never left.

It was awkwardly silent for a moment when all of a sudden, we heard a firm knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" The masculine voice asked. And wow. If that voice wasn't music to my ear drums. His voice was deep, soft and sexy.

"Yeah, come on in." Seth said, putting his beer can down and straightened out. I looked to the door and my eyes widened when the door opened.

This man was beautiful. Dark skin, full lips, hazel eyes, big hands, nice a-

"Chief." Seth said, acknowledging him. The man smiled a bit, showing his perfect teeth. He reached over the table with his hands acknowledging everyone.

"Quil. Paul. Jared. Embry. Seth." He said stopping to place his large hand on Seth's shoulder patting it in a comforting fashion.

"Seth. I'm really sorry for your loss. You're father was a great man and will be missed terribly." He said. Seth nodded and thanked him. "If there's anything you or your mother need. Just call."

"Thanks Jake. It means alot man." He said and thats when it hit me. This was Jacob. Wow, he was gorgeous.

When he turned to me, his eyes met mine and I felt so vulnerable for a second before-

"Oh Jake...This is my sister, L-"

"Leah." Jake finished for him. I was shocked. How did he know me?

"You're father spoke very highly of you. You're even more beautiful than his descriptions." He said, making me blush.

"Thank you."He reached his hand out and I slowly placed my own palm in his. He shook it slightly before holding on a few seconds.

"Ahem." Someone said, making me quickly snatching my hand back. I looked up to see that Jake had a slight red tint in his cheeks.

"Well I should get going. I need to speak with you're mother briefly." He said, making me shiver as he stared right at me, walking to the door.

"It was nice seeing you all. Very nice meeting you, Leah. I look forward to seeing you at the bonfire, tomorrow." He said before, walking out, softly closing the door after him.

"Uh oh." I heard someone say, but I was to taken with the man who left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

You Know I'm No Good

Chapter 5

Seth's POV

Staring up at the ceiling of my old room, I let my mind wander to that day. The day Leah disappeared from our lives for what I thought was going to be forever. She didn't even say goodbye to any of us, just slipped out her bedroom window in the middle of the night without saying a word.

I was bittersweet towards her return. Ever since she left she's pretty much been a soft subject for me. The whole reservation knew not to mention her...well at least not around me. For four years I was mad at her, and I took it out on everyone around me including my parents. Well, especially my dad.

Flashback : Two Months Ago

"Mom, where's dad?" I shouted as I walked in the house looking for her. I found her in the kitchen preparing what looks like lunch for my dad. She rolled her eyes at my "greeting". I walked over and sat on the counter and watched as she made sandwich after sandwich.

"Are you going to give me a proper greeting or am I going to have to beg for it?" She said sarcastically. "I swear, kids these days. So ungrateful." She said turning in my direction, with a butter knife waving it around as she pronounced every syllable in her speech. "Twenty-Three hours, Seth! For twenty three hours I sat and waited for your big head to pop out of my crotch and you can't spare me ten seconds to say hi? Some child I raised." She rambled on. But I pretty much tuned out with the whole 'pop out of my crotch' thing. I get this speech every time I disobey her. Which is a lot...

"Mom enough of the crotch talk. You know most of the time when I say 'Mom, where's dad?' is really me saying 'Mommy I love you.' in Seth language." I said giving her my cutest smile. She pinched my cheek, then slapped it , I winced cradling my sore and probably red cheek.. "Ow, Mom."

"That means 'I love you too' in Mommy language." she said smiling. knowing she won the argument. This what I loved about her. Her humor. "What's going on, baby?" She said with a concerned expression.

"Nothing, I just really need to talk to dad about something important. Know where he may be?" I said completely blowing off the question. I really didn't want to talk to my mom about my relationship problems.

"You didn't get anybody pregnant, did you?" She said dropping her knife and glaring at me, always making assumptions. "Seth! We've talked about this. How many times have I told you to wrap it up down there? Twice?"

"Mom, I-"

"Seth, you can't trust the women out there in Port Angeles. They're dangerous, you don't kn-"

"Mom-"

"Know where in they've been, what they have. OH! and don't trust them when they say "I'm on the pill". It's a dead end. Ask your fath-"

"MOM! for the love of God? No one is pregnant! Besides I'm not really dating. I just need to talk to him about guy stuff. Now can you please tell me where he is." I pleaded, wanting out of this awkward conversation. Like now. She rolled her eyes and sighed, as she bagged the packed lunches she made.

"He went out fishing with Charlie again." She said, letting out a breath.

"Again? What the hell are they trying to catch? Pneumonia? It's sixty degrees outside?" I said confused.

"I don't know, but since you're headed that way, take these lunches to them and tell your dad I love him, I'll be with the girls down at the shop for the rest of the day. Oh and make sure he takes ALL of his meds." She said sounding stressed, handing me the medium sized cooler filled with food.

"Okay, I'll call you later mom. Love you." I said bending down to place a loud kiss on her cheek.

Running out to the driveway, I unlocked my car and placed the sandwiches in the passenger's seat as I sat in the drivers and pulled out. On my way to first Beach, I looked out towards the bridge where dad and Charlie usually fish and saw nothing. Pulling up on the ridge I noticed there equipment was set up along the railing. I got out and looked around. And thats when I saw it.

The gate on the other side of the bridge had been opened, Which was odd because ever since I was a child it would always be chained shut. I looked past it and saw that old abandoned house covered by some trees. I always remember when me and Le- I mean my sister used to go on fishing trips, all she would do was talk about how when she got older she wanted that house.

Only the house didn't look so abandoned anymore. Through the trees, I could see about thirty people with hardhats, walking around with various tools in hand. That's when curiosity took over and demanded I go check it out.

Before I could even stop myself I was walking through throngs of construction workers. Some where paving the walkway to the entrance of the house, while some were planting various different colorful flowers around the front of the porch. It was beautiful...and just the way Leah would've wanted it.

I felt a jolt of joy spark through me, than anger. She couldn't possibly be back, could she?

As I stood in the middle of the long driveway, staring at my surroundings, I spotted Charlie talking to what looked like an electrician, explaining how things should be done.

"Charlie?" I shouted, causing him to flinch and quickly dismiss the workers around him. "What the fuck is this? Where is my dad?" I said looking al around. My mind was spinning. What was happening? She couldn't possibly here? Right.

"Seth please calm down-"

"CALM DOWN? Don't tell me to f- What is this?" I shouted probably gaining the attention of the workers around us. I was heated, I started pacing back and forth, running my fingers through my hair and pulling.

"Seth!" I heard my dad shout, I spun around and stomped towards him. "Seth, what are you doing here?" He said looking panicked.

"Dad, what is this?" I said, towering over him speaking with with clenched teeth.

"Seth, I can explain-"

"Dad, please."

"I know she'll come ba-"

"Dad-"

"Seth I can feel it. She's going to come back to us soon and I just want to let her know we never forgot her. She's your sister Seth!"

"FUCK LEAH,Dad! FUCK. HER." I said in outrage shoving him a bit. I had had enough. "Leah is not coming back! She made that perfectly clear when she left us. So take all this shit down because it's not worth it. She's gone." My rage started to falter as my eyes brimmed with tears. I stopped and took a breath before walking back towards my car.

Present Time:

I sighed as a single tear rolled down my cheek, down onto my neck. I was crying. Fuck. I reached up to wipe my tears, but was stopped by something warm and soft. I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful grey eyes. Bree.

"You okay, baby?" She asked softly, running the back of her hand across my cheek. I grabbed it and placed a few kisses on her bare left hand. I smiled softly as I thought of tonight when I would propose to her.

"Will you make me feel batter?" I asked smiling as I watched her blush furiously. She giggled, straddling my hips and pressing kisses up from my chest to my lips. I groaned, palming her ass, as she caught my bottom lip between her own and pulled away.

When she sat up straight, she grabbed the bottom hem of her sundress and peeled it away from her beautiful body, revealing herself to me. I smiled as sat up, grabbed her waist and flipped us over to where I was placed in between her legs, making her giggle.

"Shhhh. You're gonna have to be quiet." I said laughing, pulling back to take my shirt off. She was always such a beautiful distraction.

Leah's POV

Waking up was always my favorite part of the day. I would always wake up early and go into Jaden's room and just watch him, admiring him and how special he was.

Having a child is still so odd to me. It's like I wake every day and just stare at him like I just can't believe he's mine. As I watched him sleep, I couldn't help but shed a tear to his innocence.

I had never really thought about the consequences of my actions when I was younger, just starting into the adult entertainment industry. I was always thinking of the now and never the future.

Looking at my baby always made me think about how life will be later. I raised my hand up to his soft chubby tan cheek and slowly traced the side of his face.

I wanted the big house with the wrap around porch and five star garden with big backyard that my kids could play on. I wanted the beautiful master bedroom with a his and hers bathroom and closet. I wanted the California King bed that was to big for just me and Jaden. I wanted a home.

And I had that now.

* * *

><p>AN- REVIEW PLEASE! I'm bored and lonely...I'll update YCSMTT sometime during this week!


	6. Chapter 6

You Know I'm No Good

Chapter 6

Leah's POV

11:35 AM

I sighed looking at the clock, I should probably wake Jaden up and get the day started. We had a couple things to do before the bonfire.

Turning onto my other side, I smiled as I slightly shook him awake.

"Jaden, it's time to wake up baby." I cooed as his little eyes fluttered open, and he smiled sleepily at me while rubbing at his eyes.

Running my hands through his dirty blonde hair, I attacked his face with kisses,blowing raspberries all over his chubby cheeks.

"Momma! Momma stop. It tickle. It tic- aaahhhhh! Mommy please!" He squealed as I continued tickling his sides.

"But mommy loves to tickle you." I said pouting, poking bottom lip out.

"I'm gonna pee!" He squealed once more knowing I'd stop.

"Alright okay. Go potty and I'll start the the bath. Bubbles?"

"Uhhhhhh." I smirked as I watched his little face scrunch up probably thinking the pros and cons of having a bubbles. Just like his father. "Yes pwease." He finally concluded, as he crawled out of my old bed.

I watched as he stood in the middle of my old room, in his spider man footie pajamas,looked over his surroundings, seeming confused.

"Momma where are we at?"

"We're in mommy's old house. In my old room. See." I said pointing at an old photo of me when I was about Jaden's age.

It was one of those pictures you take at school with the optional backdrop. I grinned taking in my dirty overalls and long brown curly pigtails with little fly away hairs all over my face. Bright hazel eyes and huge blushing cheeks.

I was fucking cute.

"Thas not momma." Jaden said disbelieving. He studied the picture more before turning back to me.

"It is." I said laughing. "I was a baby like you."

"But chu look diffwent." He said pinking up the photo and doing a side by side comparison.

"Your eyes the same." He said. "And mouth but thats it!" He exclaimed.

Laughing, I showed him to the bathroom, letting him go potty. Stripping his PJ's I couldn't help but pinch his little tan butt as I placed him in the tub.

It was just so cute and round.

"Mommy stop it!" He exclaimed hiding his butt from me.

Having taken a shower and washed my hair the night before, I performed my morning ritual. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, applied my eyeliner, mascara and lipgloss, then styled my hair.

My hair was naturally wavy, so I pretty much had to flat iron it everyday. After I finished flat ironing, I combed my straight bangs over and pulled my hair into a messy top bun.

Getting dressed was difficult. I always spend the most time trying to figure out what to wear.

Since society has deemed me a "thick" woman, there are only a few things I can wear without looking slutty or trashy.

Even though my profession requires as such, I'm a mother and I am fully dedicated to separating myself from who I am and what I do.

"Momma! I'm finished!" I heard Jaden shout from the bathroom. Smiling, I grabbed the towel from the rack and opened it up so he could step into it.

Wrapping him in the towel, I placed him on my hip to let the water out.

Walking him over to the bed, I plopped him down on the mattress, drying him off. After towel drying his hair, I walked over to our suitcase.

Dressing Jaden in a white polo and blue swim trunks for later, I decided to dress casual as well. Throwing on my favorite black jersey maxi dress and denim jacket. I had on my favorite

Just as I finished throwing on my clothes there was a light knock at my door.

"Leah, are you descent?" I heard Seth ask quietly from behind the door.

"Jaden go answer the door for Uncle Seth." I said watching as Jaden moved on two chubby little legs, reaching high to turn the door knob.

When the door opened, Seth looked utterly confused before looking down at Jaden who was looking up at Seth as if he was studying him.

"Momma this is Uncle Seff?" Jaden said looking perplexed. Seth just kinda stood there looking at Jaden with wide eyes.

Smiling I replied, "Yup. That's momma's brother. Uncle Seth."

"But chu said he was wittle." Jaden said eyeing Seth's 6'4 frame. Seth let out a loud laugh almost doubling over in hysterics.

"Silly boy. I said he was my little brother. Little is another word for younger." I said, explaining things to him the best I could. I watched as Jaden's confused expression turned to one of understanding.

"How much littler is Uncle Seff?" He asked in just plain curiosity.

I laughed before turning to Seth. "I don't know, ask Uncle Seff?" I said making Seth chuckle before he bent down to reach Jaden's level.

Tuning out of there conversation, my eyes began to water as I watched as Seth and Jaden interacted. I could see that Seth had fallen in love with Jaden, just as I had with him every single day of his life.

For about ten minutes, I just stared, silent tears falling from my cheeks.

Why had I kept my child from his family for so long?

"Leah?"

"Momma!" I heard Seth and Jaden say at the exact same time, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Huh?" I said, quickly wiping at my eyes, to remove any sign of tears.

"Sorry I was daydreaming. What's up?" I replied ignoring Seth's curious glances.

"Uncle Seff said we can go to eat pancakes! Can we go plllleeeeasse Momma! Please Momma! Say yes!"

"Oh sure. Yeah we can go definitely. Who's all going?" I asked directing the question to Seth, who slightly blanched at the words.

"Um well, you know, the usual." He said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Seth. I need to know who all is going to be there so I can prepare myself for it." I said sternly. Looking at him with a sideways glance.

"Okay it's just Paul, Rachel, Embry, Rebecca, Quil, Jared, Me, Bree, Sam and Emily." He said quickly thinking I 'd give a fuck about Sam and Emily.

"Seth, I can assure you that I could care less about Sam and Emily being there."

"Oh okay. So is that a ye-" Seth tried to ask but was interrupted my hungry and impatient 3 year old.

"YES!" Jaden said, face just glowing with excitement. He fucking loved pancakes.

Well this will be interesting.

Pulling up to the diner and parking right next to Seth's pickup, I couldn't help but think back on all the memories we had as a family here.

Dinners.

Dates.

Stopping myself before I took a painful trip down memory lane, I reminded myself that I should just enjoy myself now and forget about the past.

For now.

Letting out a deep breath, I collected myself before turning the rental car off. Getting out of the car, I opened the backseat door to unstrap a very anxious Jaden from his carseat. Placing him on my hip, I walked towards the entrance, smiling when I started to feel and smell the wonderful atmosphere I missed so much.

Opening the door, It was like I was in a fucking time capsule or something. Nothing had changed.

Like at all.

Standing in the threshold, I scanned the large room full of people before spotting the only table with huge overgrown men calling me over.

Walking over to the table, I quickly took roll.

Paul. Check.

Rachel. Check.

Quil. Check.

Embry. Check.

Seth. Check.

White gir- I mean Bree. Check.

Sam. Fuck.

Emily. Ugh.

Alright so basically everyone's here.

This should be fun.

"Uh hey guys. Sorry we're late." I said nervously because as soon as I walked up it seemed everyone's conversations had stopped and all eyes were on me.

Awkward.

Before sitting down, I got Jaden situated in the high chair that Seth had already taken the initiative to ask for. He looked so proud of himself when I placed Jaden inside of it.

Once I sat down, I tried avoiding all the eyes staring at me, but I knew I'd have to answer some of their questions sooner or later.

Most of the stares were coming from Sam, who I hadn't really gotten a good look at last night, but he looked good. Really good. Everything I'd imagine

When I looked at Sam now I didn't see the boy I fell in love with, but the man who broke my heart. Even though he looked different and had probably changed significantly as I had myself, we could never be those two kids in love again. But deep down we were the same 17 year old high school sweethearts.

Looking up to get another glance at him, I gasped lightly when I saw his dark brown almost black eyes were staring into my own hazel orbs. In that moment he opened his mouth to say something but thankfully, the waiter chose that moment to take our orders.

While the kind looking waitress took everyone else's order, I turned to Jaden who had a puzzled look on his face as if contemplating what to order.

"You ready to order yet,baby?" I whispered, leaning closer to him.

"No, not yet mommy." He said, scratching his head. Smiling, I kissed the side of his face. When the waitress came around, I ordered the Strawberry Cheesecake French Toast.

"What would you like little man?" The waitress, who looked about 18 said, crouching down to Jaden's level. I rolled my eyes as his eyes shined with happiness. Like his father, he had a weakness for blondes.

"Can I have this pwease?" Jaden asked pointing to the picture of the kids rainbow pancakes.

Smiling, the waitress nodded, before turning to me, "Your son is SO adorable." I laughed as Jaden blushed and hid his face in my hair. Once the waitress left our table, Seth and everyone else chuckled to themselves.

"Thank you." I said, pulling him out of his high chair to sit on my lap. I could feel his need to be closer to me and who am I to deny him comfort.

Clearing his throat, Seth caught my attention. "Leah this is my girlfriend, Brianna. Bree this is my older sister." Seth said introducing us.

Reaching over Seth, I shook her hand and smiled before speaking. "It's so nice to finally meet you. I feel like I know you already, the way Seth was going on and on and on about how much he-" Before I could say anymore a hand was clamped over my mouth.

"Now that's quite enough Big Sis. We've all heard enough. Soooo let's change the subject." Seth said all red from embarrassment, Bree hugged his waist, kissing his chest. I missed picking on my brother.

"Dude you're so pussy whipped, it's not even funny!" Paul said, causing the guys and I to throw our heads back in laughter. All the girlfriends looked offended.

Rachel gasped, and hit his chest ."Paul, there's a child here! You're so fucking stupid." She said referring to Jaden who was happily not paying attention. He was occupied watching videos on nowadays.

"You know you love me for it woman." He said, placing a big sloppy kiss on her lips. I cringed, it was weird seeing Paul so...affectionate. Ugh. Everybody makes me sick.

Saved by the waitress once more, I placed Jaden back in his high chair as she and another waiter helped lay all the food out for everyone.

It was a uncomfortable silence as we all ate. Well at least to me. I could still feel Sam's eyes on me as I cut into Jaden's pancakes and fed him. After a few bites, Embry took over, feeding him so I could start eating my french toast.

"Jaden, what do you say to Uncle Embry?" I asked expectantly. With his mouth full of pancake, he looked at Embry and smiled.

"Thank you Uncle Emmy!" He said happily as he smacked loudly. I rolled my eyes at my son. I don't what I'm gonna do with him.

"So Jaden, how old are you?" I heard Emily ask, looking at Jaden with this expression I just couldn't pinpoint. Jaden looked up to me as to say 'Is it okay if talk to her?'. Nodding at him, he looked back at her shyly before replying.

"I'm three."

"When's your birthday?" She asked, digging for more info. Something was up.

"Emily." Sam said, looking at her sternly as if he was scolding her. I was so confused.

"No, Sam I need to know!" Emily all but screeched, silencing the diner.

"Stop making a scene." Sam said more serious this time.

"NO! I need to know right now goddamnit!" She said again, staring daggers at me.

Fuck this.

With a loud clang, I dropped my fork on my plate, sitting up straight and taking a breath.

"Emily is there something you want to say to me." It came out a lot harsher than I intended but how dare she.

"Is he Sam's?" She yelled pointing at Jaden.

I felt like I was being slapped. Wow.

"Emily, please stop. This is really uncalled for." Seth said quietly, trying to calm everything down.

"Wow." I muttered to myself, not believing this shit for a second. Looking up at Sam, he was looking at me like he was waiting for me to say something.

"Leah,answer the fucking question." Sam said sounding irritated. I was somewhat calm before but that did it.

"You know Taha Aki must be one humorous motherfucker, because somehow he blessed Sam and me with this blonde haired, blue eyed child. I mean someone call the Vatican! It's a fucking miracle." I said hysterically, talking to no one in particular. I needed to leave. I was about to lose my mind.

"Leah, this is nothing to joke about." Sam said, comforting Emily.

"Your right. So stop fucking playing with me, Sam. You know damn well Jaden is not your son!" I yelled, getting really riled up. I could feel the tears threatening to show themselves, but I wouldn't allow it.

"Wow. This is a waste of my time."

Reaching into my purse, I threw down a fifty dollar bill before standing up, picking up Jaden and placing him on my hip, I walked towards the exit.

Ignoring Seth, as he tried to get me to stay, I just kept walking.

I need to get the fuck out of here. Like right the fuck now.


End file.
